Have you cheated and need to know what to do now? You've come to the right place! Hello there, cheater. Now, we don't meant to offend; we're just having a little fun! And, besides, we don't really take too much offence to the word "cheater," anyhow. In fact, it can be a positive word in the right circumstances. If you are reading this, likely you have cheated and need to know what to do next. We're going to break it down step by step for you, starting off with examine all the details of your affair so you can better understand it, which will help you to plan next steps, plus a few more practical big picture questions, like do you want to stay in your relationship or not.

There are a few things you need to consider but after you do, you should be well on your way to knowing the perfect next steps now that you've cheated.

This is one of the most important steps to remember: don't panic. Many people who cheat for the first time weren't explicitly planning it, so there can be a feeling of panic or dread about getting caught. Don't feed into this! Take a few moments to gather yourself. Inhale. Exhale. First of all, keep in mind that plenty of people have cheated and you certainly aren't the first person to ever cheat. You also aren't the first person to ever feel bad or worried about it either! Whenever you feel like panicking just think of that and it will hopefully have you feeling more calm again. The worst thing you can do is panic. It can make you mentally and physically ill. It can also mean that you could get caught (and if you are this panicked about cheating we can guess that you don't want to get caught!).

Now, before we can help you to decide what to do after you cheating, you need to examine all of the details of your affair. This is important because it will help you to know what to do next. For example, if you had a one night stand your next steps would be very different than if you had a years long affair with one person. As they are totally different kinds of affairs they will have a different effect on you and therefore require different next steps.

Now, examining your affair may not sound too exciting or you may be apprehensive in doing it but trust us when we say it is a super important part of knowing what to do after you cheat.

First things first: why did you cheat? Were you bored? Were you looking for some excitement? Thinking about "why" we cheat is a pretty big ask, as we have to really dig inside of ourselves to find the answer. However, getting to the "why" can really help us to know what to do next. Or at least, it will help us in knowing the next question to ask. For example, if you cheated because you were bored then the next step would be to ask yourself if you are still bored. Did the cheating help? If it did, then awesome! If it didn't, do you still feel the urge to cheat to help with the boredom? Oftentimes the "why" is one of the harder questions to answer but once you do you can learn so much about yourself!

After the "why" you obviously have to ask the "how." And we don't mean the technical "how" because we know how sex works, thanks. What we mean by this kind of how is: how exactly did this affair come to be. Is your lover a friend or coworker that turned into something more? Was this an affair of opportunity or was it planned? Answering "how" generally yields slightly less introspective answers as the "why" question but it is just as important to ask. This is because you want to be aware of all of these logistical queries in case you either want to make sure you can recreate them with a new affair or avoid them all together if you'd rather never cheat again.

The answer to this question can change your next steps fairly drastically: was this cheating a one time thing or a long term affair? Each answer will lend to different next steps. For example, if it was a one time thing, your next steps would be fairly short and simple. However, if you had a very long affair, there are more things you will need to do afterward, whether it's wrapping things up or separating your life from your lovers. Generally one time things or shorter affairs are much faster and easier to clean up and move on from! However, there are even one night stands that are absolute nightmares to walk away from. Like we always say: each relationship is totally different and depends on the people in it!

Whether or not you are planning cheating again of course plays into what you should do after you cheated. Basically, after you cheat should you: cheat again or never cheat again. Sometimes that can be hard to answer at first, especially if you are still panicking about the cheating in general. So don't answer this question right away. Instead, take some time to think about it so you can be really sure of your answer. You may want to think about whether or not you had fun and whether it would be worth it to do again. If you are answering yes to these questions, then you very well may want to cheat again!

Cheating can be divided into many categories but the two basic ones are: one night stands and affairs. Basically all that means is: now that you've cheated, what do you want it to become? Do you want to get yourself into a long term affair or would you rather stick with one night stands? Both have their pros and cons. We love the familiarly of having a lover that we see on the side; of course, one night stands are sexy and exhilarating too. It also must be said that you could opt to explore a totally different kind of cheating. We only listed two examples so you could get the wheels turning. You are in control here so whatever sort of cheating you want to get into will be aided by the post-cheating steps you decide to take.

Now that you've dug into the nitty gritty if your affair, it's time to take a look at your feelings. How did having the cheating make you feel? Do you feel good or bad? It is very important to examine your feelings. Not only will they inform your next steps but it can also help you to change your next affair so it is better for you. For example, if there was one aspect of your cheating adventure that you didn't like, take note of it and make sure that it doesn't happen the next time. And it's important to note that if cheating undoubtedly make you feel bad and you know for a fact no amount of tweaking and reflecting would make you want to do it again, do not worry! It is totally OK if your next steps involve moving on with no forms of cheating on the horizon for you.

If you're feeling a little guilty but know that you still overall enjoyed the affair and want to pursue it, don't worry! Most everyone feels a little guilty, actually. This is because society has conditioned us to perceive cheating and affairs as bad and the people who engage in them are bad people. When this point has been driven into our brains since we were young, it only makes sense that it would be difficult for us to feel okay about cheating or having affairs now. But don't worry. That guilt will likely soon subside—especially if you focus on how much you enjoyed the affair and are looking forward to cheating again!

We've been focusing heavily on the cheating side of cheating, but we can't forget about your partner either. Even though they technically weren't part of the cheating they were still a part in a way. After you cheat, you have a decision to make: you can either stay in your relationship or see the cheating as a sign that the relationship is meant to end. We can't answer that question for you as it is a super personal one and really depends on the situation. However, no matter which one you pick it will be exactly what is right for you. There are no harsh judgements whether you decide to stay in your relationship or leave it entirely.

Second to whether you are going to stay with your partner is whether you are going to tell your partner that you cheated. Again, it's totally OK no matter which option you pick. Many people opt to not tell their partner because they are worried what will happen when their partner finds out about the affair. It can be hard to know what your partner will do. Maybe you decide to stay in your relationship but reveal the cheating and then your partner leaves you anyway. That's definitely not what you wanted! So be sure to take some time to think about the pros and cons of telling your partner what you did.

Now that you've had a change to think about your affair and some other aspects of it, hopefully you are starting to see the next steps that you should be taking post-cheating. Sometimes a little introspection is all you need to get the ball rolling with knowing what to. However, if you're still wanting some guidance we can list of a few of the more basic next steps. If you enjoyed your affair and don't feel overly guilty, you may want to think about starting another one. If the affair made you realize how unhappy you are in your relationship, your next step could be to leave that relationship and start fresh. Basically your own personal answers the all of the above questions are your next steps!

Overall, the most important next step, no matter which direction you decide to go in, is to be safe and have fun. We are firm believers that affairs are meant to be fun so if you aren't having fun, what is the point?

We hope that this list of questions and advice has helped you in a few ways. We hope that you are feeling less panicked about having cheating and maybe even feeling a little bit positive! We also hope that you are starting to feel like you know exactly what your next steps are. Whether you are going to be cheating again or you would rather fess up to your partner and beg forgiveness and never do it again is totally up to you. But no matter what you choose, we of course support you! Remember: only you can make a decision about your love and sexual life. Ultimately you have to make decisions for what makes you feel the best. Of course your partner and lover matter too but they should always take a back seat to your own personal happiness. You do you!