Dating someone who has kids around the same age as you does not need to be a deal breaker. There are many benefits to having adult kids stay in the picture, so don't let it scare you off!

We've written about May-December relationships before, and how they are much more common than people think. There is another element to consider when entering into this type of relationship though. Something maybe less common because it may be considered an unwavering deal breaker for these unions. That would be dating someone who has kids around the same age as you. If you just shuddered at the thought, then maybe this isn't for you. If that's the case, you can check out that May-December article and focus on the other aspects of these relationships that appeal to you. However, we personally believe that you shouldn't allow something like this to affect the connection you have made with someone. Many positive things can come out of dating someone with kids your age, so hear me out first!

Whether you are dating someone older or not, we have all had either a dad crush or a MILF come into our lives at one point or another. These can be fun pressure points to push with your friends and have a good laugh. Other times they can get you into trouble. As we get older these scenarios seem less funny, and far more plausible.

For instance, say you are at your friend's wedding. You are grabbing a drink at the bar and happen upon an interesting conversation with an attractive man. He's divorced, single, and you really seem to be hitting it off. Then you learn it's the groom's father. Crazy, right? Except that up until the point when you learned this, there was really nothing crazy about it.

We have friends that we make regular jokes with, such as, "Oh, if only your dad were single!" Thing is, We're only half joking. The reality of it is that the only thing that would stop me from going on a date with these attractive older men, is that I am friends with their offspring. That is the part that makes it weird. But let us tell you, if we didn't have a pre-existing friendship on the line, we wouldn't hesitate for a second!

So you find yourself a nice solid connection with someone. You date for a while, and things start to get serious. You've known all along that his kids are around your age, but the two of you were still testing the waters and trying to figure out if this could be a real relationship. Now enough time has passed, you have settled in, and you are ready to meet the family.

Here is where you have to be delicate. It is important not to spring it on anyone. Both parties need to approach their own families separately and prime them well in advance. The best approach would be to talk about your new partner early on, in more general terms. Rave about the things you like about them, what attracts you to them. Describe some of your common interests and the things you do together that bond you.

You want to show your family that this is about way more than what might only be seen on the surface. Build their character so it becomes harder to reduce them to a number- that number being their age. When the time is right, let them know that there is a gap, but really enforce that it does not bother you.

You can't predict how people will react, especially the children of your new partner. At least laying groundwork will soften that blow a bit. If you are met with resistance, and this is likely to happen at first, all you can do is stay the course. Be yourself. Let them get to know you. Be kind, respectful, and understanding of their feelings on the matter. Don't force it. Give them space if required. Remain supportive and loving to your partner. Let them see that you are not going to let it affect the bond you have formed. We want the people we love to experience happiness, love, and support from others as well. Seeing what the two of you have will make them more accepting over time.

If you are able to get to a peaceful acceptance of the situation, you will find yourself enjoying the many perks of this new family dynamic. For instance, the bonding. With adult children, family get-togethers tend to be more fun and relaxed. Actual conversations take place. Bonding with someone your own age can be a lot easier than if your partner had younger children trying to deal with their parent's divorce. Kids and teens have a lot of emotional cargo to sort through when their parents separate. It can be hard on everyone and have a very negative effect on a parent's love life. Coming into a situation with adult children, who have long since processed their parent's uncoupling can make it much easier. Communication is everything, and it's far less complicated between adults.

Spending time with the family as a unit is great, but being able to bond with your partner's kids individually is less burdensome when you actually have similar interests. Dining out and trying new restaurants, taking trips, going to movies, and other activities. Sure, you can do these things with kids, but it is very, VERY different. Especially if you do not have a lot of experience with kids already. Now we're talking upscale restaurants, wine tours, and R rated movies. Things you would choose to do on your own, or with your friends, you can now also do with family. Makes your efforts much more enjoyable.

You get to be a friend, not a parent. This is huge. There are times when we, as adults, have problems going on in our own lives. It's not always easy to communicate this to our parents. It's also not easy to ask for help when we need it. Having someone closerin age, who understands where they are coming from can be very beneficial to them. They know that they can come to you with something and get your opinion first. They can gauge their parent's reaction from your perspective or have you assist in lessening something that might feel like a blow. These are all wonderful assets you bring to the table. The pressure is off of you because you are not the authority here. There are times when parenting can feel like a burden under the weight of the responsibility. Lucky for you, you needn't carry that weight. You get to roll with the punches.

Even though you are closer to the kids in age, you are essentially bridging the gap between the two generations. You are able to do this because you exist in both worlds, and you have the ear of both the parent and the child. Not only will your partner spend more time with their kids, it will be quality time. You share your interests with your partner, and those interests are probably in line with the kids since you belong to the same generation. You assist with communication and a more in-depth understanding that flows both ways.

Aside from there being an age and generational gap between kids and their parents, there is a void between them that leads to phrases like "I'll never understand you kids" or "My dad just doesn't get it". In being the middleman so to speak, you are useful in situations where this might come up. Why? Because first of all, your age difference or generational gap is lessened by the intimacy you share with your partner. The depth of your feelings and the open conversations you have are not something a parent has with a child. This is your window into their soul. You know the core of their beliefs, and the reasoning behind why they do the things they do, say the things they say, and ultimately make the decisions they make. In turn, you being in touch with your own generation allows you to offer some insight into why your partner's kids arrive at their own decisions. Being this "go-between" can really help eradicate phrases like that from ever being uttered.

Maybe you want kids of your own. This may or may not be an option with this partner. Chances are you have discussed this and you are together because you are on the same page. Some older men, regardless of already having adult children, are still very open to having more kids. They have the know-how and financial stability to make it a lot easier on you. Plus the added help of your step kids, or pals rather, who can be actively involved and a major help. Overall, this go-round of child rearing might also be more enjoyable for him because all of these factors lead to him having a much more relaxed, easy-going partner. You are not two, young, struggling parents in a high-stress household, slowly letting your relationship take a backseat and ultimately dissolve. The relationship has more of a chance to be equally cared for in this dynamic. So that's one plus if you are looking for a positive in the pregnancy department.

More commonly though, these matches are better made for people who aren't looking to start a family or have kids of their own. In this case, biology doesn't matter. Timelines go out the window. The clocks stop ticking. You already have the benefit of your partner fulfilling their desire for kids and family. The pressure is off you to take this step. You get the best of both worlds. You can enjoy family life, gatherings and holidays. You also get to have a relationship free of the responsibility and financial burden that comes with starting a family. You can focus on your work, take trips, and keep the romance flame lit because there are no infants waiting to demand a feeding and destroy the moment. You can throw yourself into a freeing kind of love. Only that allows you to focus on what you want and allows you to lead a less stressful life.

Now, say option two - the no kid package- is the most appealing to you. Yet, you still love kids and want to have them in your life. You'd just prefer it if it wasn't a twenty-four-hour full-time gig that requires you to destroy your body when it's in it's prime. I have three words for you- HOT. YOUNG. GRANDMA. Maybe you don't want to be called that, whatever. The point is to look what it affords you with. Having a partner with kids your age means that when they have babies, you get to be there. You get to be a part of their lives and watch and partake in the growth of these children the way a grandparent does. You can spend time with them, soil them, and then send them back to mom and dad. These children will have had you in their lives and will accept you as their family, not knowing any different. You are solidified as a real part of this modern family. How beautiful is that?

Age should never be a factor when two consenting adults enter into a relationship. So what if his kids are the same age as you? Focus on how this could elevate your life. Trust your partner and take your cues from them. Embrace the new family dynamic, and leave the rest of your worries behind.

Find out why we love May/December relationships here - HERE!!

Looking to try out something new? Give this a shot - HERE!!

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