Trust us when we say: affairs work best when there are some simple rules in place.

An affair can be an exciting and sexy adventure to embark on but if you want to have a successful affair, it's important to lay down some ground rules. Rules may sound kind of boring but trust us when we say that rules will make you affair better. With rules, there will be structure and expectations, which will in turn give you more freedom. Listed below are ground rules for if you are keeping your affair a secret and also some slightly different rules for if you have an arrangement with your partner. They range from "keeping things simple" to "never write anything down," and "have a good cover story." Read on for all 10 ground rules!

Now, most people tend to keep their affairs a secret from their partner. That is totally fine! In fact, like we said, it's the norm! With that in mind, the bulk of these ground rules will be from the perspective of your partner not knowing about the affair.

These rules will help you to have a great affair and continue to keep it a secret... or at least, as discreet as possible! You don't necessarily need to follow these all to the letter; some will resonate more with you than others. But you should find some good advice within the ten ground rules we have listed below!

Keep it simple is... pretty simple! It can be tempting to make your affair a big thing but it's always best to keep things as low key and simple as possible. This not only will help you from getting caught, it will also be easier to maintain and it will keep expectations clear. Instead of planning elaborate weekends away, plan for a night at a decent hotel. An affair can be life changing, but the activities themselves don't necessarily have to be a part of that! Simple is also easier to remember and when it comes to affairs you need to be able to remember as much as possible so that you don't get confused or slip up.

Just like keeping it simple, planning is also super important. While it can be sexy to dash off last minute to meet your lover, it's actions like that that will totally get you caught or cause upset. It's very important to plan with your lover. We even recommend being very repetitive with when you meet up with your lover. Not only will it be easy to remember, it will also build a routine. Routines are simple and keep things from getting confused. Planning in advance means you won't be caught unawares and that is super important when it comes to have a successful, discreet affair.

This one may feel like it's veering into paranoid territory, but if you have a partner who is nosy or really want to make sure you won't be found out, we recommend never writing anything down. Or, if you do write something down, like an address or message between you and your lover, be sure to destroy it. You may have good intentions about emptying your pockets before getting home, but it's easy to forget and then your partner could accidentally find whatever was stashed in your pockets. Plenty of affairs have been found out by a partner doing laundry and finding a clue in the cheater's pocket. Don't become a statistic!

Equally paranoid, but also consider getting a brand new credit card or dealing in cash as much as possible. This is probably fairly obvious, but a secret credit card or cash makes it very hard for your partner or anyone else to know what is going on. In this same line of thinking, you could also get a new email address that you specifically use for your affair. All of these methods are some what hard core and may feel like too much but they are some of the only ways to guarantee absolutely secrecy.

It's always good to have a cover story. Where is it that you go once a week? It needs to be something that your partner will believe but not be too interest in learning more about. The cover story should, like we mentioned above, be simple, so that way it's easy to remember and you won't mess up any of the details. Cover stories will also come into play if anybody ever sees you and your lover in public. Sure, you can have a friend but if you're seen around a lot with someone, the gossip mill can start running.

You want as few people as possible to know about your affair, because that will lessen the chance of your partner finding out. But at the same time, not telling anyone can be sort of lonely. We think it's important to have one close friend to confide in. Make sure this is a person that you trust and who won't judge you. It will feel so great to have someone to talk to about the affair. It also means that you won't have things all bottled up inside you!

Having sex with someone who is not your partner can leave evidence, from stains to smells to everything in between. We already mentioned not writing anything down, which is a form of evidence. It's also important to remember that your body can hold a lot of evidence too. Be sure to clean yourself off after you bang your lover. Chances are your partner could smell the other person on you. With that in mind, we always recommend to conduct your affair without perfume. That way there is definitely not transfer of smells at all. Also be on the lookout for rogue jizz stains! It would be super awkward to try to come up with a reason for why there is semen on your clothing.

It's hard enough to plan for a holiday with your own partner and family, but to try to add in your lover to the mix can be almost impossible. That's why we tend to make all holidays off limits to lovers. This is helpful because you don't have to worry about buying gifts (which can be found by the wrong person), or trying to find a good excuse to not spend Valentine's Day with your actual partner. So whatever holidays you are expected to be sharing with your partner and family, stick to that. You can always make up your own holidays with your lover!

Yes, you are having a lot of fun with your lover, but don't forget to maintain something positive with your partner, especially if you are not wanting them to find out at all. The surest way for them to start to suspect something is wrong is if you really start ignoring them. Keeping up appearances may involve having sex with your partner and generally spending time with them so that they still feel love and like they matter. You may not always want to do it, but it is super important!

This last rule is one of the most important: avoid saying "love." Seriously, this is an affair. Most affairs end or fizzle out; they have an expiration date. Unless you are seriously planning on leaving your partner and starting a new relationship (which we don't recommend), keep the love with your partner and family and see your affair for what it really is: something fun and light and mostly about sex. You may feel great big feelings with your lover but once the "L" word is said out loud, there is no going back and it definitely starts to change things.

Like we mentioned above, most people indulging in affairs want to keep them a secret so our ten main ground rules come from that perspective. However, there are couples who are open about their affairs or have a specific arrangement that they communicate about. Open or non-monogamous relationships are becoming more and more popular, actually. If that is the case, some of our ground rules above can certainly be adapted. For example, you should still avoid the "L" word and keep your partner in mind.

When it comes to setting ground rules with your partner about your affair, we tend to recommend that you are both honest with each other but still vague.

For example, you will tell each other when you are going out to hook up with your lover but you won't tell your each other who the lover is or details about them. This way the lines of communication are open but you aren't bombarding each other with details that can make you feel bad or jealous or confused.

Another good ground rule is to let your partner know when you are no longer into your non-monogamous relationship. It's always important to constantly check in to make sure that you are both feeling good and happy about the direction things are going in.

So now that we've gone over the rules, you may be wondering just "how" you set them up? Well, that depends on you! Are you the kind of person who needs to have your ground rules typed up? Or can you memorize them? If you are communicating with your partner about your affair, the ground rules with them should be a joint effort where you go over everything together and decide what rules you want to set up. If you aren't telling your partner, you still need to go over your ground rules with your lover. After all, if they are being lazy or sloppy and get found out then you will still get found out too. Be sure that your lover is okay with your rules and subscribing to them.

We tend to think of random hookups as different from affairs. An affair generally takes more effort and you get to know the person a little bit better. So with that in mind, we highly recommend sticking with one lover at a time. It's hard enough to maintain one relationship, let alone two, and let alone more than that! And even though you most certainly are NOT using the "L" word with your lover, you still want to make sure that you are focused on them. This also goes back to keeping thing simple as well. Multiple names and info to remember can definitely lead to mistakes.

Now, the majority of people enter into an affair because they want to have sex. Either they aren't getting enough with their partner or they want something new and exciting. That is totally okay! But it's also good to note that an affair can be more than just sex. Sometimes it is about companionship. Sometimes it is about a connection. Sometimes it is even about something more simple, like revenge. Knowing what sort of affair you have can help you to set your ground rules and keep them realistic.

Lastly, and maybe the most important thing of all: know that affairs usually end. And that's not to be dismal—far from it actually! Instead, it's about being prepared. You should have a plan for when things end or change. What will you do with yourself? This is a good thing to keep in mind.

We hope you are able to adapt our ground rules to your own affair to make it the very best it can be.