The May-December relationship- a tale as old as time. It may seem like a current trend, but there is nothing more classic than this tried and true romance!

First of all, what exactly is a May-December relationship? Well, it's pretty straightforward- One partner is a spring chicken, the other is winter-weary. It's all about the age gap. It's definitely not the most modern or pleasing label, which sort of proves that it's not really a new trend. It's actually old news. But old news is better than fake news, am I right?

And let me tell you- this shit has been happening since the dawn of time. It's biblical. Our society was built on these relationships! Our forefathers were all about the younger women. The only thing that has changed is the rise of the role reversal in this relationship dynamic. Older men have always courted younger women, but very rarely did we see older women sporting a youthful male counterpart. It's cool though. Harold and Maude came along to show us the error of our ways. Yet to some, this choice still seems taboo.

Attraction is powerful, and not necessarily a choice. Though it is possible that you could find yourself in a similar situation and choose to walk away because you or your loved ones deem it inappropriate. Let us assure you, there is nothing wrong with dating younger or older. Like we said, it's tried, tested, and true- and here's why it should appeal to you:

Part of what we find appealing in an older lover is the confidence that comes from knowing what they want. They likely have several additional years of experience on you. They've had time to determine what works for them, and what doesn't.

Having a powerful sense of self is incredibly magnetic. When a person like that fixes their eye on you, how could not melt? They know exactly what they want, and they've decided you're it!

It's exhilarating. It's that kind of attention and focused affection that sweeps you off your feet. Now, what if you are the older party? The same theory applies. Imagine the confidence it must take for a younger person to pursue someone older and seemingly out of their league. It's that same assurance, knowing full well what they want and going after it, that has a similar appeal.

We spend most of our young adulthood trying to get a handle on our basic needs. Moving step by step through the societal checklist until we deem ourselves successful and ultimately fulfilled. Most of the time this is done with a partner similar in age. You find each other, bond over your common hardships, and agree to build a life together.

The reality is that the stress of this building phase often breaks us down.

Divorce rates continue to climb. The thing about May-December relationships is, the divorce rates are much lower. We can ponder why that might be, but the answer seems fairly clear. One party has already gone through this phase and come out the other side. They can relate. They can offer a realistic perspective. Not only that, but the support can be more stable and genuine because they are not as affected by the stress. In turn, the stress cycle is broken. You know how that is when you and your partner are both in a tight spot and repeatedly take your stress out on each other. One at a time, back and forth. It feels endless. Like walking through a desert of eggshells.

You see a lot less of this in May-December relationships. Why? Because when one has their tangible needs met, they are free to meet the emotional and mental needs of the other. Therefore both parties become ultimately needless. This allows the focus of the relationship to shift to the wants of that couple. Needs are always accompanied by stress but it's the wants that get you closer to fulfillment. Now, I'm not saying you can't find stability in your own age bracket. It's just that more often than not, that stability is coming around the bend of a learning curve. Every individual and relationship is different. They all go through their own trials and tribulations. These just seem to be common characteristics of the differing scenarios. There are always exceptions to the rule!

Whoa, hold up! Before you get all high and mighty or offended, hear me out! I'm not saying to run out and find yourself a sugar momma or a sugar daddy. Also, those terms alone are enough to give a person gut rot. I just think it's worth exploring the true benefit of a financially stable partner- financial independence.

True luxury is being able to focus on your own finances and not having to worry about providing for someone else. Let's face it, the job climate has changed. Education is expensive, and paid jobs are not as attainable right out of the gate. Beginning your career with a boatload of debt is incredibly daunting. If you have to carry the weight of economic stress for another person in addition to your own, it could come with some serious long-term ramifications. For instance, say you get offered an internship that will undoubtedly lead to your dream job. You are willing to put in the time, climb the ladder, and find a way to supplement your income. It could be manageable if it's just you. But when a partner is involved, especially if they find themselves in a similar situation with their own offers, it can be very tempting to turn down your opportunity in support of them. We often find ourselves making sacrifices in an attempt to remove some of the stress from the relationship. In a May-December relationships, you have more options and less sacrifice.

If you are Mr. or Miss December in this scenario, there are benefits for you too! It's rare that you would ever find yourself having to explain or excuse how you choose to spend your disposable income when you are dating someone younger. They are too busy worrying about themselves to care how much you spend feeding your online shopping addiction or your hungry co-workers at that trendy new hotspot. Financial independence really is the best benefit that comes out of this form of stability.

This one is tricky, so I'm going to keep it simple. We all have differing degrees of emotional comfort that affect our mental health and determine how we handle situations and treat others. These individualities don't magically disappear once you become a man or woman of a certain age. What I will say is that "May" folks handle situations differently from how "December" folks do, solely based on experience. The May partner might be able to let things go with more ease when they know something is not the end of the world; however, in a more serious predicament, they might be inclined to panic and over-react. On the flip side, a December partner may need to be told to lighten up once and a while; but when life throws that curve ball, they have been there, done that. They know from experience how to remain calm and take it step by step. Having a partner that you can lean on when you are emotionally vulnerable is absolutely everything.

This is very true. Opposites definitely attract. From the outside, there are some very obvious differences in a May-December relationship. Age clearly. Perhaps the width of your age gap also pushes you into two different generational classifications. Gen X and millennial for instance. On the surface there would be some very clear differences in upbringing, preferred technology, media, pop culture, as well as perspective. Perspective is huge. But there are many layers to us human beings. Generally, I have found that those in May-December relationships find each other because they have more in common with one other fundamentally than with those their own age. Look at it as a real solid connection, with the added bonus of enough differences to keep things interesting. Where one yings, the other yangs, but they fit together perfectly. They compliment each other. One is an old soul, the other is young at heart. There's no better way to put it!

Whatever keeps you young, right? There is no question that an older partner will benefit from the hustle and bustle of a younger partner's active lifestyle. Maintaining good health as you get older can be a challenge. You don't always have the drive to hit the gym after work or go hiking on your day off. Your desire to spend time with your partner can be enough of a motivator when it comes to staying active. A younger partner can benefit from an older partner's pace. They may feel more inclined to take time for themselves and adopt other ways to relax and de-stress. Many people I know with older partners tend to be better adjusted after becoming accustomed to a less frantic lifestyle.

Now we're talking, right? Honestly, there are ONLY benefits here. I don't see there being issues in the bedroom, other than maybe biological ones that can occur over time. But let's be real, there are pills for that. Boy oh boy, are there ever pills for that. Fun ones. Good times ahead! But let's focus on the now, shall we?

Being the older partner, your benefits might be a little more obvious. The energy a younger person brings to the bedroom. That youth and sex appeal. Strength, flexibility. They take care of themselves. They put the effort in to look good for you. It's exciting. It's heated. Passion is attainable in all forms of relationships. But when the relationship seems even a little out of the ordinary, or wrong in a sense, that passion can be stronger.It feels more provocative. When you date a younger person, you get to tap into a new generation of seduction. You experiment with what technology has to offer. There are new pleasures discovered every day that you may not even know exist if you do not have a line into that world. Positions, toys, even the language of love changes rapidly. What was once phone sex, became online dating and email exchanges. Now it's even more accessible in the form of a sext. Are you away on business? No problem. A few sexts during your meetings. Get yourself on a video chat when you get back to your hotel room. These are exciting times!

It's the younger partner that really has it made though. First of all, you get to be with someone who knows exactly what they are doing. Experience is a game changer. Insecurities are non-existent. They know how important it is to build to it, and they enjoy all aspects, not just the orgasm itself. Sex can be more intimate and exploratory, and less self-involved. They also know what they like, and what they want. It's incredibly sexy. They know how to get where they want to go and they are more than willing to take you along for the ride, with frequent detours! In my experience, older partners are far more passionate. They also aren't afraid of a more classic approach to romance. They know how to get you in the mood.

In the end, love is love. Set all differences aside and focus on your connection. If the relationship is strong then there is really no need to mind the gap!

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